Mom Anxiety

As an individual whose seen their fair share of counseling couches, therefore it’s also fair to consider myself a pseudo-therapist too. Similar to the Dr. Googles in your lives. I am confident with my self diagnosis and thus the perfect script to go along with it.

I have diagnosed myself with “Momxiety,” easily recognizable to the onlooker with decently gifted vision. Symptoms include a variety of easily overlooked thoughts and actions. My momxiety is responsible for forgetfulness. Don’t be alarmed as I'm not referring to the “I lost my baby” variety as much as the “I literally cannot keep up with my water glass so I have ninety-five sprinkled around the house,” flavor of forgetfulness. I'm also plagued with a sense of lost control when not driving the vehicle with my child in the back seat leading to looming eighteen-wheeler paranoia, drifting car radar vision, and a lens for all possible impending doom when compulsively fixated on the road and surrounding cars. Finally, I personally experience the sweeping fear of peering into my child’s bassinet and instead of finding a peacefully sleeping baby I'm certain I will undoubtedly find him not breathing. This involuntary thought sometimes propelling me out of the bed, this waking the said sleeping baby and simultaneously reassuring myself of their child’s state of being while ruining my chance of sleep for at least the next hour that follows. 

As a mom and former family nanny, I consider these to be fairly normal symptoms in the realm of new mom status. 

I don’t think I need to seek counseling to remedy this new variety of anxiety. I mean, you constantly hear of this temporary so much that “mama bear” merchandise is rampant. 

While I think this is all perfectly normal, I still think it ought to be addressed. Mothers deserve the opportunity to care for themselves as the family’s nurturer, but often are the last to make time for themselves in an effort to ease or calm symptoms of Momxiety. I think this is where we as moms can give ourselves a bit of grace.  We can't be the primary caretaker and not stop to consider our own needs.

I’ve been compiling a list of some self help strategies I intend to try and implement into my life in an effort to reduce my own Momxiety and keep my tush outta the counseling couch. 

Reduce Bedtime Rocking

My husband and I share the responsibility of caring for our son during the night. We established roles early on, as in before Sebastian was born, and for the most part we have maintained equal tasks and time spent fore fitting sleep. However, I started to realize that when I rock the baby to sleep for the longest of his slumbers I struggle to then fall asleep quickly. Often peering into our child’s bedside bassinet, I can’t settle my mind for sleep. Though, when my husbnad takes on that particular task of getting the baby to sleep and I’m able to hop into bed, sans baby in the room, I can fall asleep quickly and I often sleep more deeply. Voicing this new found realization is critical to reducing my fear of SIDS and help settle my busy mind before bedtime. 

An Hour for Me

I need, and deserve, sixty minutes to myself daily.. and not the kind that involves a breast pump, shower out of necessity, toilet, or household chores. This hour is up to me to do something that fulfills me; be it creative or otherwise self indulgent; I have earned the time to use selfishly for myself. Truly this will be the most difficult one to achieve, but I want to encourage myself to recognize I am worthy of time to myself.  Time where I do not have to tend to the baby if he suddenly becomes upset; my non-negotiable hour of 'me time' in the evenings would be so beneficial.  As a mom, you so rarely have moments to yourself that are genuinely yours- so often interrupted.  By giving myself the opportunity to delegate some care giving responsibilities, be it even an hour a day, I hope to reduce the stresses on my own needs to be fulfilled and providing my mind a mental break.  

Words of Affirmation 

I know I need this in my child rearing, because it rings true for my relationship with my husband too. I need to be reassured that I am doing right by my child, for our child. I need to know that my efforts aren’t falling on blind eyes or deaf ears. I need reassurance. Being a mom is so much harder than I ever thought {and equally rewarding}, and I need to know I’m doing ok. So when you see me, please say nice things, because truth be told I’m probably second guessing a super trivial decision I've made earlier in the day. I may need that positivity more than you would realize it's benefit. I think this remedy is the most valuable remedy of them all because being affirmed is empowering and encouraging.  I know that in a professional capacity when I am encouraged by doing a good job, I tend to work harder and am much more self assured.  I know this idea also applies to mothering so much that I've joined communities online to share in encouraging and supporting other mothers as they do the same for me. When it's suggested that raising babies takes a village; it's not a lie.  Sometimes that village is needed to reassure the care taker, and other times its needed to literally care for the little ones.  

Exercise

Those of you that have known me for several years know how important exercise used to be to me. It was a nonnegotiable. It made me feel great, and it’s the endorphins I need to reintroduce to my body. While I’m super proud of my body's ability to grow and support my son's life, it’s also not quite the body I spent time cultivating years ago. I’m ready to recommit and reap the benefits of all that extra energy throughout the day. Getting started again on my routine is the hardest part {always is}, but soon it'll be super easy to prioritize my exercise back into my day. Now, if only I can remember to ask my husband to get my weights out of the attic.

I really think if I allow myself to be a priority too, I can settle some of my anxieties on my own.  Anyone else feeling the same symptoms I have been experiencing?  Do you have additional suggestions to help remedy the anxieties in an effort to be a little more at ease? Please consider sharing in the comments below so others can try your suggestions too.